In the past 2 years, I have taught 15 cohorts of the Mindful Leadership program to 300 executives and managers.
Invariably, half way through the program, the participants get frustrated at all the โnavel gazingโ and ask me,
โ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฃ ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐ก ๐ฌ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ง๐ฃ ๐๐ค๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐ค ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐๐๐ง๐จ?โ
You see, the first half of the program, is focused on self-leadership skills, like focused presence, emotional resilience, cognitive resilience, and purpose.
And these self-leadership skills are foundational to building the skills to lead others and leading the team.
So when I get that question, I gently remind the participants, that before they can lead others they need to learn to lead themselves.
And here is why.
๐๐ฝ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐ข๐ ๐ก ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐ซ
One of the most frequent reasons for quitting is the poor relationship with the boss.
๐๐ฝ๐๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐ซ ๐ฆ๐๐ ๐ง๐ข๐๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐๐๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ
Humans are hardwired for empathy, so when a leader is stressed the team members are stressed.
๐๐ฝ๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐๐๐๐ซ ๐ซ๐๐๐ฎ๐๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐๐๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ
When a leader better manages stress, the stress on the team goes down and motivation improves.
So I guide the executives and managers in my program to be curious about this question instead:
๐คโ๐๐ค๐ฌ ๐๐ข ๐ ๐ก๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ๐จ๐๐ก๐ - ๐ฅ๐๐ฎ๐จ๐๐๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ, ๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ, ๐๐ข๐ค๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐ฉ๐ช๐๐ก๐ก๐ฎ?
Counterintuitively once we better manage our own thoughts and feelings, we are more aware of the thoughts and feelings of othersโฆenabling us to lead and manage others more effectively.